Donald Trump: The Game. It takes brains to make millions, it takes Trump to make billions.

My husband found this gem on eBay, it was a tongue-in-cheek Christmas present a couple of years ago. If you have never seen Celebrity Apprentice USA it is hilarious. It is one of my TV guilty pleasures. I now know more random US brands and celebrities than ever before in my life. I love the fact Donald and his children do the board part. It is much more entertaining than Alan Sugar. It is because of this guilty pleasure I got given this for Christmas. The man running for US president has his own board game. So the ultimate question. What is this Parker Brothers board game like?

You have to be an adult to play it. I just about scrape into that category, you need 3-4 players. There are only 2 of us and I’m not trawling this out when other adults come over. You know it’s going to be good when the back of the instructions invites you to “live the fantasy! Feel the power! Make the deals!” And don’t forget my personal favourite ” it takes brains to make millions…. It takes Trump to make billions”. 

Now it also takes brains to play this game because it is so bloody confusing. I am first to admit I am the most unlikely candidate for Dragon’s Den, numbers aren’t my thing. So what does it include? You get 60 Trump cards, 4 T pawns, 2 dice, 7 property boxes, 7 cover inserts, Trump money, plastic money tray and label and of course, the game board. My one line rule version: sell your property for a huge profit. It takes 6 full pages of instructions to tell you how to do this. Buying and selling is a bidding process that takes two pages to explain alone. My favourite part of this bit is the You’re Fired card to sack somebody from the bidding and the Donald card to get yourself back in the bidding if you are fired. 

I’m writing this with the instructions right next to me and I can’t explain without ending up with 3,000 words how to play this game easily. It is a great idea but unlike Monopoly there are too many small but important details and things to do. I can win Monopoly! I have never won this game. That might be directly related to the amount of wine I’ve consumed most times the game has come off the game shelf though.

I’m not Donald Trump. I don’t make million or billions playing this. I don’t get it. I’m happy to admit defeat and that ladies and gentlemen is why this game hardly comes out. Why play something you know you are going to lose? I’m keeping it. Although if Trump wins the presidential race I might sell it on eBay afterwards.